lees!!!!!!!

North_Boy1 wrote:

Cricket - a little known fact...

The first testicular guard (box) was used in cricket in 1874 and the first
helmet was used in 1974.

It took 100 years for men to realise that the brain is also important.

Except that they got one thing wrong, its not that important in comparison to women's brains :dance

Beesting wrote:

North_Boy1 wrote:

Cricket - a little known fact...

The first testicular guard (box) was used in cricket in 1874 and the first
helmet was used in 1974.

It took 100 years for men to realise that the brain is also important.

Except that they got one thing wrong, its not that important in comparison to women's brains :dance

Women do have more brains than men, it would have been fantastic if they knew what to do with it....... :tonguehands

If women had balls, it wouldn't have taken us 100 years to realise the brain was important too. I estimate it would've taken less than a day

Beesting wrote:

If women had balls, it wouldn't have taken us 100 years to realise the brain was important too. I estimate it would've taken less than a day

LOL !

sting a womans work is never done hey? guess thats why they get paid less

I'm never gonna win, am I

Beesting wrote:

I'm never gonna win, am I

dont worry sting we are just pushing your buttons,we love the fact u have a sense of humor and put us pig back into place at times ;)we still love u *stroke stroke*

Beesting wrote:

I'm never gonna win, am I

I think you're outnumbered. Now get back in the kitchen

Boys will be boys :crazy

Very funny... download and listen...

(File Removed)

admin wrote:

Very funny... download and listen...

(File Removed)

Haha, I've heard it before.... :haha

Be honest, is that you Admin ?

I had part two somewhere as well. That sounds more like my dad though...

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking up,
looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed.

Driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long?
Hit the blasted ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse.
I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man!

You don't stand a chance of hitting her from here!"

A few shorty's

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I saio, Six should be enough."

You know that look women get when they want s*x? No? Me neither.

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?' :laugh:

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

I think animal testing is a horrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

haha (File Removed)

Happyraven wrote:

haha (File Removed)

You know what's even more funny than boozing in the boot? Got a friend to check out the registration and it doesn't even match that old Mazda 323........

The golfing world

In the golfing world, Nick Faldo's old caddy, Fanny Sunesson, is to marry
masters champion V J Singh.

At a recent press conference V J Singh commented "I'm hoping to make her
Fanny Singh by Christmas".

The first old woman told the second old woman that sometimes she gets her
husband excited at night by getting totally naked, lying in bed and putting
both legs behind her head, yoga style.

The second old woman thought that this was a great idea, so that night when
her husband went in the bathroom to get ready for bed; she got totally naked
and began the process of putting her Legs behind her head.

The first leg was kind of tough to put in place as she was a bit
arthritic... However, she finally got it in place.

She had an even tougher time with the second leg, so she rocked herself
backwards until she finally got it behind her head.

However, she had rocked just a little too hard so that she flipped slightly
backwards and got stuck with her butt sticking straight up in the air. It
was just then that her husband came out of the bathroom.

'Gladys!' he exclaimed.' For heavens sake, comb your hair and put your teeth
in.... You look like an asshole.'

Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women

PREGNANCY Q & A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes university.

Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q : My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour,
but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a cyclone might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q : Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife
is in labour?
A: Not unless the word 'child support payment' means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q : Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's nappy very quickly

Q : Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
normal again?
A: When the kids are in university.

'OESTROGEN ISSUES'

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE 'OESTROGEN ISSUES'

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You 're using your mobile phone to dial up every bumper sticker that
says: 'How's my driving - call 0800-'.
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space.'
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy..
10. The Nurofen Plus box is empty and you bought it yesterday.

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

:goodpoint :haha

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

I was told yesterday that my digital scale is inaccurate. :haha

The only time a woman will tell thier man that the scale is accurate is when the scale says they weigh ten kilos less

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings
are the only animals that stutter,' she says.

A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.'

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become,
asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well," she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the

Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew
it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'

That must've been scary,' said the teacher.

'It sure was,' said the little girl. 'My kitty raised her back, went
"Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF," but before she could say 'Fuck-off !,'
the Rottweiler ate her!

The teacher had to leave the room.

(File Removed)

:laugh: Lmfao!