Jokes

chinese girl asks her master why if guy sleep with many women he is champion when girl sleep with many guy she slut, her master replied if one lock get open by many key it is useless but if one key can open many locks its a master key! Hahahahahahahaha

Oupa wrote:

:lol: Naughty, very Naughty...

Oupa wrote:

When I saw this I immediately thought of the phrase: "You can´t eat with the big dogs if you piss like a puppy."

This made my day! :lol:

How you know you are a South African

# You call a bathing suit a "kossie".
# You call a traffic light a "robot".
# You call an elevator a "lift"
# You call a car hood a "bonnet"
# You call a car trunk a "boot"
# You call a pickup truck a "bakkie"
# You call a Barbeque a "Braai"
# Employees dance and sing in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
# You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.
# You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any.
#You can sing your national anthem in four languages and you have no idea what it means in any of them.
# You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.
# You go to braais regularly, where you drink beer, eat boerewors and swim, sometimes simultaneously.
# You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement!!!!!
# You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.
# You know a taxi can move twice its certified number of people in one trip.
# You travel 100's of kilometers to see snow.
# You know the rules of Rugby better than any referee!
# More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.
# People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty,Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence, Given,Patience, Portion and Coronation.
#"Now now" or "just now" can mean anything from a minute to a month.
# You start every sentence with yes/no or ja/nee.
# You continue to wait after a robot has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.
# Travelling at 120 km/h, you're the slowest vehicle on the highway.
# A bullet train is being introduced, but potholes can't be fixed.
# The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday.
# You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one.
# Prisoners, Doctors and Nurses go on strike.

So ´n vinnige, kort grappie..

Romain Poite

I waited 3 weeks for that game and it took a cock ref to fuck it up for every 1 in 20 mins even the New Zealander's where pissed off . People just want to see tuff fought matches and if I wanted to watch pussy sport I would watch soccer .

Something for friday!

Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls".
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3 a.m., a bit worse for wear, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and
cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another
9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted
solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
(Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos
= MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him
"Midnight".

He didn't seem concerned at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why. He said, "Well, last night our clock
cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh sh*t.", cuckooed 4 more
times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled,
cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and
farted."

:silly: :silly:

Machine Cab For Sale Boss!!

Date Listed 13/10/2011
Price R 55,000
Address Phoenix, South Africa
View map

For Sale - By Owner
Make -Toyota
Model - Corolla
Year - 1990
Kilometers - 100988
Transmission - Manual
Drivetrain -Rear-wheel drive (RWD)
Air Conditioning - Yes

howsit,

I got one toyota for sale.. heavily modified!!
custom body kit, hand crafted by Junaid himself!
body is straight like pushpa's sari pin, no word of lie
this cab gave Highway Sheila a lift back in the day all the way to the plaza and back
got a split rim... split after i hit 1 pot hole by edwin swales...
this cab is a eye ball! clean interior, never did no ghanda ghanda in this 1, jhunda's oath!
cab got cor and motor plan with Rajen... u bring the motor, he'l make a plan
Just did car prayers aswell, no short cuts was hit with this thing, that o was a madhir, even got original 3 beera's dat popped when he hit the shanthi part

NO TIME WASTERS PLEASE!!

also car will not be sold to anyone under 26. with this awesome power comes awesome responsibility. i gave one g6 gti light poles there by backstretch, that o thought he took of in reverse!
anyways, come chune with me, bring an extra brief when yourl cumn to check this cab out!
lukker!

Perfect image to describe us...well, me at least haha. Trying to get in my extra calories, forcing myself to eat enough, bottom right describes exactly how I feel

I feel ya, trying to get down 2 cups of oats at 5 in the morning... :sick:

Fakey_AK wrote:

Domestic Violence!