Stress/ psych clinics

Hey guys,

So things have been difficult at home to a point where my wife has just been booked into a clinic and I have personally been thinking of getting booked in myself.

Haven't been using any PED's in forever so any anxiety/stress/anger is not substance related. Both of us have been extremely busy with our own businesses and it's taken a roll on us as individuals, our relationship and even dealing with family and relationships.

Any heads up as to what can be expected from anyone who has been before? I've just dropped my wife off and was thinking of coming in once she is discharged (need to look after my daughter hence the wait).

Hoosain wrote: Hey guys,

So things have been difficult at home to a point where my wife has just been booked into a clinic and I have personally been thinking of getting booked in myself.

Haven't been using any PED's in forever so any anxiety/stress/anger is not substance related. Both of us have been extremely busy with our own businesses and it's taken a roll on us as individuals, our relationship and even dealing with family and relationships.

Any heads up as to what can be expected from anyone who has been before? I've just dropped my wife off and was thinking of coming in once she is discharged (need to look after my daughter hence the wait).

How long is she in for? 2 weeks? Most of the time the program is seeing a psychiatrist every day / second day, a psychologist every 2nd day and then programs during the day, occupational therapy, understanding stress / coping skills, but it literally varies depending upon where you get checked in.

You sometimes around some real nutters but the end of the day, it's all mental health and sometimes chatting with those guys adds the most perspective to things. I do believe those programs help, sometimes we just need a bit of space to reflect on things. Sometimes it can be quite hectic if you get put on meds and you start suffering side effects, so sometimes the 2 weeks just isn't enough.

thanks for the awesome response pump.

Initially booked in for 3 days just to get medical aid authorization. However they have confirmed that she'll be there for at least 2 weeks and booked off from work for another week after. If the docs not happy she'll be there for a 3rd week as well with the week booked off from work as well.

Since my post i have also had a little session with the clinic where they cleared up quite a bit and mostly it was the same as mentioned above. After the session i definitely feel i will need to check in once she's back in the swing of things at home. I've learnt quite a bit about mental health and have come to the conclusion/opinion that everyone no matter how normal we feel should go for at least a session. Just the little info session has made me realize how important our mental health is. When i say mental health people should not think loony bin as i've learnt that mental health is all about our psychological well being and theres always room for improvement in every ones lives.

I've also expected you to respond pump as i'm always reading your posts and knowledge about mental well being. I've picked up you see someone regularly and didn't think it was something important for everyone, however i've got a whole new opinion on mental health and will definitely make this a regular thing.

Hoosain wrote: thanks for the awesome response pump.

Initially booked in for 3 days just to get medical aid authorization. However they have confirmed that she'll be there for at least 2 weeks and booked off from work for another week after. If the docs not happy she'll be there for a 3rd week as well with the week booked off from work as well.

Since my post i have also had a little session with the clinic where they cleared up quite a bit and mostly it was the same as mentioned above. After the session i definitely feel i will need to check in once she's back in the swing of things at home. I've learnt quite a bit about mental health and have come to the conclusion/opinion that everyone no matter how normal we feel should go for at least a session. Just the little info session has made me realize how important our mental health is. When i say mental health people should not think loony bin as i've learnt that mental health is all about our psychological well being and theres always room for improvement in every ones lives.

I've also expected you to respond pump as i'm always reading your posts and knowledge about mental well being. I've picked up you see someone regularly and didn't think it was something important for everyone, however i've got a whole new opinion on mental health and will definitely make this a regular thing.

I see someone who runs one of those clinics, but I see him on a monthly basis, he is a very logical person and for that reason he doesn't need to be a psychologist. I have been with him for about 7 years now. I see him once a month, my medical aid pays for it regardless if I think I'm coping or not. He has seen me at my worst which was bad and he has seen me at my best, so I just make sure I see him once a month and I just feel so much more empowered when I leave. I have stooped all psychiatric medication but I chose to still see him as he has done the 180 for me. I was in his clinic twice and one of them was a mental break down, people can see that as weak but if you have a caring personality and a family to look after you sometimes just land up putting to many hours in and you land up proper sick. I was doing 7 day stunts, if I was sleeping at night using a sleeping pill and a client called my wife would have to drive me to the client as I was uber the influence of schedule 6 hypnotics and not in a state in drive and that would be minimum once a week, sometimes twice to 3 times a week sometimes I would go and do a couple days out of town to fish, proper workaholic and I got very sick, but slowly slowly is crept up, I thought I was coping, not realizing how it's all catching up, heart rate would increase 1 to 2 bpm a week before you know your resting heart rate is not longer in the 50s but in the 80s/90s+ and it would spike with all actions, then your blood pressure under all that stress is always high but because you only test when you calm and lying down you not really aware how elevated it is during the day. Fasting cortisol levels are hitting the top limit.. even in December morning cortisol sitting just over 400 and I was heading there again, I know have one of the biggest deadlines of my career that I have to complete by June and cortisone is 220, so clearly he pulled me right when I was heading down that dark path again.. Ja now that your partner is in she is going to learn a lot of things, the program is difficult because it caters to all peoples needs, so it's a one size fits all type thing, but the escapism for 2 weeks is so critical I can't even explain it. If she can do 3 weeks do it she probably wont want to as you do get over it but I realise you don't get that chance everyday so rather take the opportunity now that she has the chance. I had to take a week and a bit off of work 3 weeks ago because of a trial surgery they did on me, was a 4 and a half hour process, but I needed the break and it was the first time that I've been off work that I chose not to reply to anyone and help them, I said screw all of you and focused on my recovery.. Good luck buddy

pump sounds pretty much like we were both heading down that workaholic path and my wife especially who takes all the family troubles and just packs on some more stress. i just spoke to her and she mentioned that she learnt a few things already and it's barely been a day. I think not being able to work is finally giving her the break she needs so bad.

on my side i'm super happy for her but the worst part is not having her next to me at night. We were getting in 3-4 hours of sleep a night but being next to her was a big thing and made it "enough" to get me through the next day.
Day 1 without her has been crazy and i think worrying just stressed me out a bit more. Anxiety is something which never really got me but today was crazy... so much i ended up in a car accident! Luckily i was wearing my seat belt and i was not speeding. Bigger bonus was the guy getting out of his car and calling my name. Yes i bumped into a friend

At least i'm at ease now knowing she's doing well and all the reading i've done shows me that she's in good hands.
Let's hope tomorrow is a better day for me. As long as i know she's doing well nothing should go wrong. Will try and see someone ASAP just to declutter myself a bit.

Thanks a mil Pump. Always appreciate the experiences and knowledge you share.
+100000000 if i could

You on the the right track bud but while she is in you need to make it all about her. Dont let her worry about you. She isn't going anywhere and she is not going to find someone while she is in. She will come out a bit nervous to deal with the world again and will need you to help adjust. The car accidents, etc, been down there, I just call it calateral damage. And not sleeping together will just remind you how fortunate and lucky you are 5o have her next to you at night.

thanks again Pump for the advice.

All about her for sure. They advised that i should not visit her for the first 3 days so that she can get settled in. I did have to drop off some things for her though and we spent some time together. She already looks so much better. I didn't ask too much about the clinic and how it is in there, she did mention that she's great though. My day was made and i feel even better now.

The nurse did explain that coming out would be tough due to adjustment, but once she's adjusted things should go alot better.

And yes, not having her next to me definitely reminded me how lucky i am!

Decided to take the rest of the week off. Fetching my daughter straight from school as opposed to the usual going to my mom until we finish work. She's becoming a young lady (12 years old) and i just enjoyed bonding in a way we didn't do for a while. Things definitely looking better my side. Better enjoy the last of her younger years before she starts thinking parents are uncool haha.

So far i've had alot of time to think... i realised i work way too much and the remuneration is not worth the stress. Definitely going to tone it down and spend some more time actually living

All the best for you guys.

Just wanna thank you guys again for being awesome. Never in my life did i think an AAS forum would be this helpful and supportive. Have been busy the past few days spending plenty of time with my daughter who thinks my wife is in Jozi on business.

On that Jozi bit, do you guys think that we should come clean and mention to my daughter that my wifes actually been in a clinic? She does not want our daughter to be all freaked out and worried about our health so decided to tell a little white lie. In fact that story is being told to everyone. Was initially meant for our daughter but she asked to just tell the same thing to everyone. Could this in some way be negative towards recovery?

Hoosain wrote: Just wanna thank you guys again for being awesome. Never in my life did i think an AAS forum would be this helpful and supportive. Have been busy the past few days spending plenty of time with my daughter who thinks my wife is in Jozi on business.

On that Jozi bit, do you guys think that we should come clean and mention to my daughter that my wifes actually been in a clinic? She does not want our daughter to be all freaked out and worried about our health so decided to tell a little white lie. In fact that story is being told to everyone. Was initially meant for our daughter but she asked to just tell the same thing to everyone. Could this in some way be negative towards recovery?

What is the age? I would personally just say mommy went to people / some place to help her handle stress and pressures of life to make her a better person and mommy. That way she doesn't think mental health is something to be embarrassed about and if she ever goes through it she can turn to her for advice. But I'm not an expect in shape or form in child psychology, just my advice as a father.

Yes, definitely tell the truth, but explain it a way that only makes it a positive thing for the kids to hear. The stigma around seeking help is nonsense considering how many people need it but never get it and end up on addictive medication to cope or booze.

I was very close to imploding a year ago, trying to handle too much in my business as well. I employed someone to handle some of my work shit that was pushing me over the edge and life is mostly back to normal again. One can only work at full steam for so long before you burn out.

Good to see you sounding more positive.

00pump wrote:

Hoosain wrote: Just wanna thank you guys again for being awesome. Never in my life did i think an AAS forum would be this helpful and supportive. Have been busy the past few days spending plenty of time with my daughter who thinks my wife is in Jozi on business.

On that Jozi bit, do you guys think that we should come clean and mention to my daughter that my wifes actually been in a clinic? She does not want our daughter to be all freaked out and worried about our health so decided to tell a little white lie. In fact that story is being told to everyone. Was initially meant for our daughter but she asked to just tell the same thing to everyone. Could this in some way be negative towards recovery?

What is the age? I would personally just say mommy went to people / some place to help her handle stress and pressures of life to make her a better person and mommy. That way she doesn't think mental health is something to be embarrassed about and if she ever goes through it she can turn to her for advice. But I'm not an expect in shape or form in child psychology, just my advice as a father.

She's 12 now turning 13 in april. I've also mentioned to my wife that we should let her know as she's old enough to handle these things. Once my wife is back home we'll sit her down and explain. For now my wife does not want our daughter worrying about our health and to just enjoy being a kid. She's already so advanced and genuinely troubled by the things going on in the world. Just love the innocence of a child!

Appreciate the advice pump. I think it's especially important to tell her as she has also seen a psychologist a few times herself. I think it will make things even easier for her should she have to see the psychologist again.

Muscleaddict wrote: Yes, definitely tell the truth, but explain it a way that only makes it a positive thing for the kids to hear. The stigma around seeking help is nonsense considering how many people need it but never get it and end up on addictive medication to cope or booze.

I was very close to imploding a year ago, trying to handle too much in my business as well. I employed someone to handle some of my work shit that was pushing me over the edge and life is mostly back to normal again. One can only work at full steam for so long before you burn out.

Good to see you sounding more positive.

Definitely going to explain the positive side to her. Having been to see a psychologist herself she knows what good comes from it so shouldn't be too hard for her to understand.

Me being positive is thanks to the support from you guys as well. Seeing that it's normal for people to go through this makes it much easier to deal with. For now i just need to work on getting my sleeping pattern back to normal.

Hoosain wrote:

Muscleaddict wrote: Yes, definitely tell the truth, but explain it a way that only makes it a positive thing for the kids to hear. The stigma around seeking help is nonsense considering how many people need it but never get it and end up on addictive medication to cope or booze.

I was very close to imploding a year ago, trying to handle too much in my business as well. I employed someone to handle some of my work shit that was pushing me over the edge and life is mostly back to normal again. One can only work at full steam for so long before you burn out.

Good to see you sounding more positive.

Definitely going to explain the positive side to her. Having been to see a psychologist herself she knows what good comes from it so shouldn't be too hard for her to understand.

Me being positive is thanks to the support from you guys as well. Seeing that it's normal for people to go through this makes it much easier to deal with. For now i just need to work on getting my sleeping pattern back to normal.

What you fix that sleeping pattern you let me know, it's been my quest for 8 years

Hey guys, been a while so i thought i'd update here.

So on my side i have cut down on work drastically where i'm now doing about 50% less than i was before. Less on my plate has left me feeling alot better. I pop in at my sites throughout the day and have actually found that me having less jobs running at the same time leaves my mind at ease. I've also decided to physically get involved with doing some of the work again when popping in at the sites. This was great as it actually helped with my focus as well. Overall feeling 1000 times better and the results (feeling great) seems to have got my confidence back and i am now able to tell my clients to wait until i'm ready or Fcuk off (in a much nicer way of course haha).

My wife has been home for a week now and has gone back to work on Wednesday. Day one she reported feeling anxious but after some calming words i quickly made her realize thats its normal as she's just nervous after being out so long. Thereafter things went great!!!
She's also put her business on a break for a bit and will slowly start getting back into the swing of things after a month or so.
Anxiety is now non existent, stress is gone and she no longer feels any depression. In fact she's the total opposite and i have my wife back.

Week has been a great success so far. We'll see how the next few weeks go and then i still feel like i should go in or at least go and see the doc she did.

Thanks again guys for the advice and support. Much appreciated.

Hoosain wrote: Hey guys, been a while so i thought i'd update here.

So on my side i have cut down on work drastically where i'm now doing about 50% less than i was before. Less on my plate has left me feeling alot better. I pop in at my sites throughout the day and have actually found that me having less jobs running at the same time leaves my mind at ease. I've also decided to physically get involved with doing some of the work again when popping in at the sites. This was great as it actually helped with my focus as well. Overall feeling 1000 times better and the results (feeling great) seems to have got my confidence back and i am now able to tell my clients to wait until i'm ready or Fcuk off (in a much nicer way of course haha).

My wife has been home for a week now and has gone back to work on Wednesday. Day one she reported feeling anxious but after some calming words i quickly made her realize thats its normal as she's just nervous after being out so long. Thereafter things went great!!!
She's also put her business on a break for a bit and will slowly start getting back into the swing of things after a month or so.
Anxiety is now non existent, stress is gone and she no longer feels any depression. In fact she's the total opposite and i have my wife back.

Week has been a great success so far. We'll see how the next few weeks go and then i still feel like i should go in or at least go and see the doc she did.

Thanks again guys for the advice and support. Much appreciated.

Brother that is some positive feedback and so stocked to hearing how positive you feeling. Life is tough, you getting involved is not only setting an example but like you said is actually helping your own head. I'm really happy to hear about your wife, I can remember myself after reading that how nervous I was even leaving the place and driving back home, my wife was driving, but because I went in like her when things where such chaos I then only realized how stressed I was and how on edge my whole nerve system was, completely heightened.. I think you seeing him might just help you with coping skills so you don't let yourself slide that far.