Divorce

Furk wrote: Have zero advice on the subject, but a couple of the fellas have given some sound advice. Just chipping in to say I'll keep you in my prayers and wish you a smooth and non-hostile process forward.

Respect brother

Ontong wrote: Been through it all,
Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

1. Community of property.....it gonna hurt your pocket more than hers, however only if you earn more than her.If she earns more than you its good. In court ask for spousal support from her this is payback for you and a b#@%ch for her
2.Get a parenting plan in place, before you go to court otherwise they will refer you to the family advocate.
3.Custody means nothing......even if she gets 100% custody. Your child is old enough to decide with which parent he/she decides to live with. The police and the courts can do nothing about it, they will support the child fist with what ever decision they make in terms of which parent to live with.
3. Try and settle all financial decision out of court first, then document everything and take it to the lawyers and file for a non-contested divorce.
4. Point 3 is the most difficult to sort out.
5. Try and file for legal separation first as this gives you time to sort out you financial issues.
6. Most important......get a female divorce lawyer. One with a proven track record.
7. In court never ever refer to yourself as "I" OR "Me" always use the terms "us" and my "Family" the judge will pick up on which parent is the more family orientated person......You have to be depicted as a family man to get custody. More and more men are getting custody of children today.
8.Don't belittle your wife in front of family and your child. When the social worker interviews your child they will pick up on whose the abusive parent. Let your wife belittle you in front of both families and child use this as evidence in court and present it to the social workers. Video & voice recorded evidence cannot be disputed in court.
9. If you can settle out of court is is financially wise to do so.....other wise its gonna cost a fortune.
10. Good luck

Shot Ontong, you definitely know your shit bud

FIllet wrote:

Twinkell wrote: Sterkte Fillet, dit kan nie 'n maklike ding wees waar deur jy gaan nie.

xxx

Thanks sweetheart xxx
Ps, are you taken?

Plesier ou dier!

Ps: Yep,I'm taken, maar as ek jy is bly ek single na alles! moet my nie kruisig nie :ohmy: dis maar net my gedagte.

Twinkell wrote:

FIllet wrote:

Twinkell wrote: Sterkte Fillet, dit kan nie 'n maklike ding wees waar deur jy gaan nie.

xxx

Thanks sweetheart xxx
Ps, are you taken?

Plesier ou dier!

Ps: Yep,I'm taken, maar as ek jy is bly ek single na alles! moet my nie kruisig nie :ohmy: dis maar net my gedagte.

Dankie skat and thanks for your opinion...

Damn, sorry to hear.

You have been given solid advise here.

Biggest pointer is try and settle and agree out of court, the only people that win are the lawyers! My divorce cost 3 times what my wedding cost.

Secondly, keep the kid out of it! 90% of woman LOVE to use the kids and I have seen this over and over. As hard as it is, it is still your little ones mother and its unfair for them to choose sides. I still see it almost daily with my mans ex....7 years down the line and she still does it.

Unfortunately custody HAS to be given to one parent BUT the other parent has free access to the child as long as it is reasonable, meaning you cant rock up at midnight and demand to see the kid but should you want to fetch the child from school and do homework etc the partner may not hold the child from you.

Speaking from experience it will get a lot uglier before it gets better but it does get better.

I had the cops on my ex but now we at the point were we can go to the kids school and sporting events and chat. (he even phoned me for relationship advise)

If it's what you both want then sit down and discuss how it will be better to settle out of court instead of wasting money in court since you are married COP you will be wasting both partners money.

Lastly, big hugs dude. You will get through this. Keep showing your kid love and support cause this is going to be hard for the little mind to process.

Pixie wrote: My divorce cost 3 times what my wedding cost.

That frikken got me Pixie. Sincerely hope you are happier now that it's over with. Same to you Fillet, initially my attitude to threads like this is "it's not fitness, body-building or steroid related so it doesn't belong here". But the fact is, to the regulars, we are like a little support group, and that even ladies are chiming in on a matter like this means it transcends gender. Glad you've received some free advice from people who've gone down that road.

Keep well guys and gurls.

Like I said, divorced twice. 5 kids. Had Shit for 3 years fighting just to see my kids every 2nd weekend and every alternative holiday.

I have lost a couple of mil if you count the court cases, properties, cars, investments and shit I have lost, but fuck all that... the shit my kids gone through was unfair and I had no control over it...

When a MOTHER is out to destroy you, YOU HAVE KAK.... so be very very carful of what you do when, where, in front of who, and how. Bite your tongue, suck it up, because you will see your buttocks without a mirror when it comes to a pissed off mother.

Good luck bro, and take my advice... stay Cool, calm and collected

Pixie wrote: Damn, sorry to hear.

You have been given solid advise here.

Biggest pointer is try and settle and agree out of court, the only people that win are the lawyers! My divorce cost 3 times what my wedding cost.

Secondly, keep the kid out of it! 90% of woman LOVE to use the kids and I have seen this over and over. As hard as it is, it is still your little ones mother and its unfair for them to choose sides. I still see it almost daily with my mans ex....7 years down the line and she still does it.

Unfortunately custody HAS to be given to one parent BUT the other parent has free access to the child as long as it is reasonable, meaning you cant rock up at midnight and demand to see the kid but should you want to fetch the child from school and do homework etc the partner may not hold the child from you.

Speaking from experience it will get a lot uglier before it gets better but it does get better.

I had the cops on my ex but now we at the point were we can go to the kids school and sporting events and chat. (he even phoned me for relationship advise)

If it's what you both want then sit down and discuss how it will be better to settle out of court instead of wasting money in court since you are married COP you will be wasting both partners money.

Lastly, big hugs dude. You will get through this. Keep showing your kid love and support cause this is going to be hard for the little mind to process.

Pixie :kiss: , youre wonderful and so is your advice.
She said she would make it as ugly as she can and I believe her.
Dunno why, we just don't get along so why do that...

Oupa wrote: Like I said, divorced twice. 5 kids. Had Shit for 3 years fighting just to see my kids every 2nd weekend and every alternative holiday.

I have lost a couple of mil if you count the court cases, properties, cars, investments and shit I have lost, but fuck all that... the shit my kids gone through was unfair and I had no control over it...

When a MOTHER is out to destroy you, YOU HAVE KAK.... so be very very carful of what you do when, where, in front of who, and how. Bite your tongue, suck it up, because you will see your buttocks without a mirror when it comes to a pissed off mother.

Good luck bro, and take my advice... stay Cool, calm and collected

All advice taken Oups, so many years wasted.

Dude, 20 years wasted with failed marriages this side. Good thing is I caught up all those lost years in 2 or 3 by doing what I want, when I want without any kak en kerm from the sidelines.

You will eventually meet your other half, trust me, even a Beast needs his Bitch

Oupa wrote: even a Beast needs his Bitch

Funny shit man +1

FIllet wrote: Pixie :kiss: , youre wonderful and so is your advice.
She said she would make it as ugly as she can and I believe her.
Dunno why, we just don't get along so why do that...

Like Oupa said, woman can and will get ugly! Why? Who knows, to prove a point...maybe.

Keep your side extra clean and be extra nice (it makes them wonder what you up to :evil:)

And please dont look at it as years wasted, you got your amazing kid and lots of memories.

Now chin up butter cup, you'll be fine.

Furk wrote:

Pixie wrote: My divorce cost 3 times what my wedding cost.

That frikken got me Pixie. Sincerely hope you are happier now that it's over with. Same to you Fillet, initially my attitude to threads like this is "it's not fitness, body-building or steroid related so it doesn't belong here". But the fact is, to the regulars, we are like a little support group, and that even ladies are chiming in on a matter like this means it transcends gender. Glad you've received some free advice from people who've gone down that road.

Keep well guys and gurls.

Yeah Furk. It's sickening but was worth every last cent.

Pixie wrote: Like Oupa said, woman can and will get ugly! Why? Who knows, to prove a point...maybe.

Woman one can handle.... but Mothers...

There is a monumental difference between a pissed off woman, and a pissed off mother... I have the scars to prove that

Pixie wrote:

FIllet wrote: Pixie :kiss: , youre wonderful and so is your advice.
She said she would make it as ugly as she can and I believe her.
Dunno why, we just don't get along so why do that...

Like Oupa said, woman can and will get ugly! Why? Who knows, to prove a point...maybe.

Keep your side extra clean and be extra nice (it makes them wonder what you up to :evil:)

And please dont look at it as years wasted, you got your amazing kid and lots of memories.

Now chin up butter cup, you'll be fine.

Right, love my dude
Chins up
Think I should fck her sister and take pictures - make a movie and put it on the net.

Think I should fck her sister and take pictures - make a movie and put it on the net. [/quote]

goodness dan is jy gebogger........ soos Pixie se, hou jou kant super skoon

Twinkell wrote: Think I should fck her sister and take pictures - make a movie and put it on the net.

goodness dan is jy gebogger........ soos Pixie se, hou jou kant super skoon [/quote]

LOL I am just joking my lady

FIllet wrote:

Twinkell wrote: Think I should fck her sister and take pictures - make a movie and put it on the net.

goodness dan is jy gebogger........ soos Pixie se, hou jou kant super skoon

LOL I am just joking my lady[/quote]

hahaha yeah I know!